The View from the Monastery

Holding Still

by Sophia Woods

Monastic life wraps around prayer the way thread wraps around a spool; each day goes around “The Office” and The Office goes around the psalms. All the psalms are said in a two week cycle. Some psalms texts are anticipated with pleasure for their uplifting beauty, while others arouse dread and resistance. An example of the latter is a portion of Psalm 149 said in this community every Friday morning in week one:

Let the praises of God be in their throat

and a two-edged sword in their hand,

To wreak vengeance on the nations,

And punishment on the peoples;

To bind their rulers in chain

And their nobles with links of iron.

To inflict on them the judgment decreed;

This is glory for all God’s faithful people. Alleluia!

Meditating on words that you find repulsive is a discipline. So why do it? What’s the spiritual payback?

Well, here’s one thing: dressed in your habit, in your hushed, censed chapel, you remember to think about war. You remember that you are in fact a citizen of a country at war and you can’t pretend otherwise or think, “I’m not culpable.” Your country has bound people in secret prisons, hanged rulers and said “Alleluia.” The spiritual payback for forcing yourself to reflect on Psalm 149 is you get the truth about yourself and your world: human nature is a violent nature.

This is true even inside the monastery. To outsiders it may seem a place of peace – all that silence! But the silence is not a place, it is a doorway. We cross its threshold and go deeper to discover difficult things. Our notice of violence grows. Our equality for women, for oppressed minorities, and for the poor. She has spoken out against war. Hers continues to be a voice of uncommon courage, clarity and inspiration, not only on the issues of the day, but on the importance of a spiritual life as a basis for personal growth.

In my experience, the better counsel comes from the wisdom of contemplatives. It’s better to hold still and accept. The truth about oneself is a great spiritual gift. Receive it. Afterwards, violent impulses are more quickly recognized and sent away more easily. Give them respect and they give way to the will of the true/divine Self. Now redeemed, their energies yield to serve this Master. The exercise of acceptance, gentleness, and understanding with one’s self, yields gentleness and understanding with others. It yields peace.